i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
