I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Randomize
