We're like a lot better than the average bears
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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