Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
