Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
