UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
