Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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