he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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