All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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