I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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