I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
