5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize