As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
