Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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