I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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