I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize