Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
how drunk are you?
Several
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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