if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
