So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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