Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
