We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
