Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I want her autograph on my taint
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
