Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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