It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
