the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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