Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
