They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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