I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
