I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
