i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
do herpes really smell.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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