No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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