Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
