even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
