My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
