dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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