carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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