My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
