so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize