tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
