At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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