Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
What a dumb baby whore.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
