so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
