I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
