im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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