Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
