Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
