i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
