i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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