hotel room ftw
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
