It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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