Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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