Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
