so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
