Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
