I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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