dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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