So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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