jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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