I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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