i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
