remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
