I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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