I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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