What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
