I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
