remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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