In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
