We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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