I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
