hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
